My week in painkillers

My painkiller schedule for the week.

I just had the worst week. The pain following my tooth extractions built every day till Thursday as the swelling got worse and my cheeks puffed out into full chipmunk mode. I had to write down in my diary all the painkillers I was taking so I didn’t double up on different meds or overdose, and so I knew exactly when I could take the next dose. But even at full dose, there was no escape from the pain. I couldn’t sleep at night. Couldn’t eat. I’ve never been so consistently in so much pain for so long. Bring out your sympathy. I’m a poor poor thing.

I made the mistake on Wednesday of alternating my co-codomol and ibuprofen every two hours and used up my daily limit by 10:30pm. This left me defenceless for a whole, dreadful, night. From the next day, I alternated the pills every three hours so I could take them through the night too. It meant the day was slightly worse, but at least I wouldn’t have to go through another night like Wednesday.

To make things worse, I realised that my inability to make an air-seal with my tongue while drinking was not, as I’d thought, because of the gaps created by my missing molars, but because of an uncommon complication that can happen with upper molar extractions where the roots are so deep they connect with the sinuses. When my upper left molar had been removed, a hole had been opened up into my nose. So when I drank anything, I could feel air being drawn in through my nose and into my mouth through the new cavity. It’s gross, I know.

I went back to the hospital and they said the ‘communication’ between my sinus and mouth was small and should close up by itself over the next week or so. Don’t sneeze through your nose, they said. If you need to sneeze do a mouth sneeze (Naomi loved that). Don’t blow your nose, they said, just let it run. And don’t suck.

Thankfully, the weird nasal slurping seems to have stopped over the last couple of days, so fingers crossed I won’t need an extra surgery to patch the hole.

By Friday, the pain was still so intense I had to go back to the hospital again, where the nurse read through my surgery notes and said she wasn’t surprised I was in so much pain (i.e. I wasn’t being a baby), as all five teeth had all been a bugger to get out, especially the impacted wisdom tooth, and had required lots of drilling and sectioning (cutting into pieces).

Yesterday was the first day the painkillers felt like they were actually working, and I had a few hours of respite. Today I’m better still. It’s such a relief to be near-comfortable. After a week of eating nothing but soup and yogurt, I graduated last night to the semi-solid meal of lasagne and mashed potato. It was so damn good I bought two more portions of each today (yes, I’m talking about the worst kind of processed instant lasagne and mash – sloppiness is key here). Have you ever eaten mash and lasagne together? It’s a special kind of wonderful if you’re ever feeling carb-deprived and can’t chew.

Thankfully, Naomi’s patience with me has remained throughout the week. She has diligently stroked my forehead, taken on cat-litter duty, and microwaved my mashed potato. Thank goodness for that wonderful woman.

I hope all this pain will be worth it in the end. Once all the stitches in my mouth have dissolved, I’ll have completed step one in my journey to lovely straight teeth, which I’ll arrive at in about two and a half years, I hope. I’m bracing myself (hah!) for more discomfort once the train tracks go on, but I’m just thinking about the day when I can smile without feeling self-conscious and show my teeth in photographs without cringing. It’ll be so good. And this week wasn’t all bad – not being able to eat means I’ve dropped four pounds, so I can indulge in more lasagne-mash loveliness without feeling guilty for a little while longer.